The Ballad of Pyrrha Nikos
by ThatDragonDude
Summary: When Nora finds her self bored between events, she gets the idea to put on a stage performance about a totally true story of everybody's favorite tournament champion.


**Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.**

 **Please enjoy this fun little fic that's been rumbling around in my head for a while.**

* * *

Nora Valkyrie was bored.

Normally she might bug one of her friends to play with her, or even just read a book and listen to music. But this wasn't just boredom, it was _advanced boredom_. Sure, fighting all those Grimm in the middle of Vale was fun, but now there was nothing big to do until the Vytal Festival, which wasn't for another _two weeks_! Two whole weeks with nothing to look forward to! This was utter madness!

"Ren, I'm boooooooooooooooored!" she whined to her partner.

The boy in green didn't even look up from his notebook as he addressed the girl. "There are many available ways for you to entertain yourself, Nora. Why not read a book?"

"I already finished one book this month! I can't start another now or my brain will turn to mush!"

"You could study for Professor Oobleck's upcoming test."

"Brain mush, Ren!"

"Train for the Vytal Festival?"

"My thunder thighs are in peak condition, thank you very much!"

Ren let out a sigh, before his ears picked up a familar-sounding set of footsteps from the hall. "...Perhaps you could ask Jaune for advice, he's about to walk in." _Forgive me Jaune, but I need my study time_.

The girl let out a gasp. "Of course! Our fearless leader always has a plan! He'll know how to get me out of this funk!"

The door soon opened to show the blonde swordsman looking down at his scroll, oblivious to the pink blob about to pounce.

"Jauuuuune!" Nora cried cheerfully as she jumped straight into his personal space. "I'm bored and need help fixing that! What are you looking at there?"

Jaune only recoiled a couple feet, having grown far more used to the redhead's personality over the course of the school year. Maybe by the time they graduate in four years, he'd be able to take her shouting and energy as well as Ren does. "H-hey, Nora. Um, Pyrrha suggested I watch some of her old Mistral fights to get some ideas for my own style. She's always been pretty great, huh?"

"Oooooh, the Pyrrha the Champion Show! How badly's she winning today, Jauney?"

"Haha, by a lot. It's almost scary sometimes. No matter what they try, nobody's ever safe against her. Good thing she's on our team, right?" He looked up to see Nora staring of into space, softly mumbling to her self.

"Scary...champion...Pyrrha..."

"Uh, Nora? Hello?"

Ren spared a glance up to see Jaune waving a hand in-front of their teammate to no avail. "Oh no." he said flatly in anticipation.

"That's it!" the girl exclaimed, jumping in place and shocking the blonde backwards onto his bottom. "You're a genius, Fearless Leader! Ooh, this is gonna be great!" She then proceeded to take off running out the door and down the hall, laughing maniacally.

Jaune turned to the other male on his team as he recovered. "Is, uh, is that something we should be worried about?"

Ren simply shrugged, satisfied that he would have some time to finish his homework now.

* * *

"You...want to put on a stage performance?" Ozpin asked, surprised by the request.

"That's right, sir!" Nora said, beaming her brightest smile. "It's practically all Jaune's idea, giving us something to do over the next two weeks instead of sitting around wasting away. He's always so thoughtful like that. It's why he makes such a great leader, you got that one super right."

"Ahem." Ms. Goodwitch drew Nora's attention. "I believe everyone has more than enough to keep themselves occupied until the Vytal Festival. Your training and your studies should be your top concern right now. I'm afraid we can't allow this." She frowned a bit as Nora's smile faded. It wasn't that she liked seeing her students miserable, she simply wanted what was best for them. Right now, distractions would only hurt-

"Well, I think it's a splendid idea."

 _...MUST he do this EVERY TIME?_ The blonde woman rounded on her hot cocoa-addicted boss. "Sir, I have to disagree. There is simply no time for-"

"Now Glynda, I'm sure Ms. Valkyrie wouldn't be asking to do this if she wasn't certain that she could balance it with her duties as a student. Am I correct?" he asked Nora, who's smile swiftly returned, with even more enthusiasm than before.

"Absolutely, Professor Sir!" she nearly shouted, giving her best imitation of a salute.

Ozpin softly chuckled to himself. "Besides, I'm rather curious to know what the contents of this performance will be."

"Hehe, that's a secret! You'll have to come see it for yourself once we're ready to put on our show! And I promise not to let things get out of hand this time, Ms. Goodwitch." She waved to both of them before she ran out of the office, wanting to get out before their combat instructor could shut down her project.

Glynda watched the young girl leave quickly through the doors before letting out an exasperated sigh. "Is this really the time for this?"

"Come now, they should be allowed to have some fun. After all, they are still-"

"Children. Yes, _I know._ If you're going to keep doing this, you could at least find a new excuse."

The ancient wizard just sipped from his mug.

* * *

 _Got permission from Ozzy himself, now I just need a crew. And I know just the victims!_ Nora knocked on the door to JNPR's sister team's room, a small collection of papers in her hand from a quick use of the library's printer. As the door opened, she could hear somebody already speaking inside.

"-them away! We have too much studying to get done to be distracted right now."

"Weiss, you don't even know who's here or what it's about." Ruby turned to face their visitor and smiled. "Hey Nora, what's up?"

"Hellooooo Team RWBY!" she said as she stepped into the room. "You're all being recruited for a stage act of my own brilliant design!"

"No, stop right there, Valkyrie." Weiss got up and approached the girl as Yang and Ruby looked on, Blake keeping her eyes on the novel hidden in her textbook. "We have no time for your crazy schemes. We have homework to do, and training to get to after that. You are not interrupting that with whatever you've cooked up in that head of yours."

Nora smiled at the heiress, completely undaunted. "But Weiss, way back when Jaune was still crazy for you, he told me he found one of your performances and that you were the _best_ singer he'd ever heard. You'd be perfect for the main vocals!"

The girl in white sighed to herself, not sure why she had to be the one to deal with Nora's antics right now. "Let's see it," she said, motioning for the sheets, Nora happily handing them over. Ruby and Yang peered over Weiss's shoulders and read with her, varied expressions as they made their way through the document.

"Wow," the brawler said, a smile growing as she read. "This looks like fun."

"Fun? It's ridiculous! Why would you do this to your own teammate?"

"I've gotta go with Weiss on this one, Nora. Are you sure Pyrrha won't be offended by this?" Ruby asked with worry in her voice.

"Whaaaaaat, naw. Pyrrha's tough! She'll take it as a compliment, I'm pretty sure. So, are you in?" Nora asked hopefully.

Weiss seemed determined to dash those hopes. "No. I already told you, we don't have the time for this. We have studying and training to get done. You'll have to find somebody else for your little show." she said sternly, moving to sit back at her desk.

"Alright Weiss, I give up," Nora said, in a voice that told how she already knew she'd won. "I guess if you're so certain that you'd be _terrible_ , I suppose you'd want to save yourself the _humiliation_. I'll just have to go find somebody who can _actually_ sing." She smirked as the Schnee visibly twitched before turning back around.

"Now you listen here, Nora Valkyrie!" she said, succumbing to her pride. "I will not be insulted this way. I will easily perform these simple lines with the perfection expected of a Schnee. When your little song is mocked and laughed at, it's one saving grace will be my voice giving it life."

"Grrrreat! I knew I could count on you, Weiss!"

"Of course.

...Wait a min-"

"I wanna be the lead!" Yang said with her arm in the air, cutting off Weiss before she could back out of the commitment she just made.

"Perfect, now we'll need a drummer."

"I can keep a beat." Blake stated, eyes never leaving her book, but a small smile on her face nonetheless.

"And somebody on violin." Everybody looked to the remaining girl in the room.

"...Me? I don't know how to play any instruments!"

"C'mon, sis. You'll only need to learn enough for one song. It can't be harder than everything you had to learn for your weapon," Yang encouraged her little sister, patting her on the shoulder.

"Yeah, Crescent Rose is pretty awesome. Nora, are you _sure_ Pyrrha will be okay with this? I really don't want to make her upset," the girl in the red hood pleaded.

Nora looked into her eyes, trying to be as reassuring as she could. "Ruby, I promise. Pyrrha will be fine. Cross my heart!"

"Well...okay, if you're sure then. Let's do it!" Ruby said, pumping a fist into the air.

"Hold on," Weiss said, resigned to participating, but wanting to do it right. "This says we still need a chorus, more instrumentals, and another actor. Plus we'll need somebody to work the lights, people to make the set, and-"

"Don't worry, don't worry. I can round up all of that in a flash. You'd be surprised what people will do not to have their legs broken."

* * *

And so over the next week, sounds and voices could be heard coming from the amphitheater of the many people getting everything right for their one-night-only performance.

"Make sure the light hits that right! We've really gotta sell the isolation!"

"Are you gonna be okay in this skirt?"

"I will do it for the art."

"Yang, make sure you don't hurt him!"

"Yeah, yeah. As long as that'll come off cleanly, he'll be fine."

"Weiss, we've been over this! You have to voice the surprise there!"

"Ugh, I can't work in these conditions!"

"Hey, can we leave yet? This is all super lame."

"Do you WANT to keep your legs, Cardin? YES? Then less talking, more practice!"

"Sun, I thought you'd be more acrobatic than this."

"Look this is _a lot_ different than my usual flips and stuff!"

* * *

"The Ballad of Pyrrha Nikos." Jaune read off a flyer in the dining hall.

"What's that, Jaune?" the girl asked as she heard her name.

"Oh, I think I've found out what's been keeping Nora busy this past week."

Ren sighed. "It seems our peaceful times are at an end."

"I think it's been a little boring, actually." Pyrrha admitted. Nora stuck around for a bit of studying and training, but all of her free time had been devoted to her "secret project" as of late. It had certainly been a nice break at first, but she'd soon found it to be a little too quiet. "When is this performance of Nora's to take place?"

"The flyer says it's tonight at 6 pm, in the amphitheater. Do you wanna go?"

"Of course," the readhead said with a nod and a smile. "Nora's our teammate, and if she's made a performance dedicated to me, I think I owe it to her to go and see it. I can't wait."

 _You poor fool_. Ren thought to himself as they continued on to get their lunch.

* * *

Nora peeked through the curtain to look at the crowing crowd of people taking their seats. "Oooh, we've got a packed house!" she said, seeing the visiting students from other academies more than filling the space left by the students she'd appropriated.

"Ohhhh, I don't know if I'm ready for this!" Ruby squealed. Sure, she'd gotten better about fighting in-front of crowds, but this wasn't something she was anywhere near as sure of as her skills with her scythe. Her older sister quickly came over to drive those fears back.

"Hey now, you'll do great, Ruby. If it helps, you can just watch me the whole time and forget the audience is even there." Yang said to calm her down.

"Thanks, sis." the younger girl said with a smile.

"Ready, Yatsu?" asked Coco, giving a final approving look at the outfit she'd gotten fitted for him.

"I will do my best." the gentle giant responded, donning the final piece of his costume.

"Is this really an important part of the show?" Sun questioned his position and promptly being ignored.

"Alright! Places, people! We're going live!"

* * *

Jaune, Pyrrha, and Ren watched from their seats near the center of the room as their teammate stepped out from behind the stage curtain, mic in-hand.

"Helloooooo, everybody! Thanks for showing up! I'm the writer, director, and producer of this little act, Nora Valkyrie! Now, I've run out of things to say, so let's get right into it! Enjoy the show!"

The girl exited the stage as the lights all shut off, coating the room in darkness. Two lights came back on, showing one figure each: Weiss standing at a mic, and Yang seemingly wandering the stage, moving between trees that must have been wheeled on-stage during the darkness. After a second, the heiress began the song, the instrumental beginning with her.

 _ **You're walking in the woods**_

 _ **There's no one around and your scroll is dead**_

 _ **Out of the corner of your eye you spot her:**_

 _ **Pyrrha Nikos**_

Two more lights shined, one illuminating the drummer, Blake, who spoke the last two words; the other revealing the seven-foot-tall wall of muscle that was Nora's interpretation of Pyrrha, topped with a giant paper-mache Pyrrha head.

 _ **She's following you, about thirty feet back**_

 _ **She gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint**_

 _ **She's gaining on you**_

 _ **Pyrrha Nikos**_

Another light, this time revealing Ruby, whose turn it had been to say Pyrrha's name. As the narrative lyrics continued, Yang and "Pyrrha" acted out the scene with a dance-like flair in their movements. Weiss's words became more urgent as the song went on, setting the tone for the act.

 _ **You're looking for your bike but you're all turned around**_

 _ **She's almost upon you now and you can see there's blood on her face**_

 _ **My God, there's blood everywhere!**_

The final lights came on, showing the chorus of teams CRDL and NDGO standing farthest back as they joined in the song.

 _ **Running for your life (from Pyrrha Nikos)**_

 _ **She's brandishing a knife (It's Pyrrha Nikos)**_

 _ **Lurking in shadows**_

 _ **Mistralian Champion Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **Living in the woods (Pyrrha Nikos)**_

 _ **Killing for sport (Pyrrha Nikos)**_

 _ **Eating all the bodies**_

 _ **Actual cannibal Pyrrha Nikos**_

Pyrrha was transfixed by the performance, not noticing the looks she started getting from various people. Jaune did however, and tried to give his fiercest glare back at them, which didn't really discourage anyone.

On-stage, Yang and "Pyrrha" had run behind the backdrop, but only Yang came back around, once again wandering the stage alone.

 _ **Now it's dark and you seem to have lost her**_

 _ **but you're hopelessly lost yourself**_

 _ **Stranded with a murderer**_

 _ **you creep silently through the underbrush**_

Yang proceeded to perform the strangest form of "sneaking" that anyone had ever seen.

 _ **Aha! In the distance**_

 _ **A small cottage with a light on**_

 _ **Hope! You move stealthily toward it**_

 _ **but your arm! Ah! It's caught in a Grimm trap!**_

The blonde acted out her pain as a prop hanging from one of the trees "grabbed" her while she made her way to a cottage door set piece that was being pushed out by people dressed in dark clothes that made them almost indistinguishable from the backdrop.

 _ **Gnawing off your arm (Quiet, quiet)**_

 _ **Limping to the cottage (Quiet, quiet)**_

 _ **Now you're on the doorstep**_

 _ **Sitting inside: Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **Sharpening an axe (Pyrrha Nikos)**_

 _ **But she doesn't hear you enter (Pyrrha Nikos)**_

 _ **You're sneaking up behind her**_

 _ **Strangling champion Pyrrha Nikos**_

Laughs could be heard directed towards the over-dramatic fight between the two actors.

 _ **Fighting for your life with Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **Wrestling a knife from Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **Stab it in her kidney**_

 _ **Safe at last from Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **You limp into the dark woods**_

 _ **blood oozing from your stump arm**_

 _ **You've beaten**_

 _ **Pyrrha Nikos**_

Jaune could not believe what he'd just seen as he watched Yang limp away from the defeated "Pyrrha". He turned to the real girl at his side to see she had her mouth covered with her hand. He was going to have strong words with Nora later for this. He shook his head as the lights dimmed.

 _At least it's finally over-_

The lights quickly flashed back on, with the bizarre addition of Sun hanging off the ceiling from some sort of fabric while he danced.

 _ **Wait! She isn't dead! Pyrrha surprise!**_

 _ **There's a gun to your head and death in her eyes**_

 _ **But you can do Jiu Jitsu (You can do it)**_

 _ **Bodyslam champion Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **Legendary fight with Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **Normal Tuesday night for Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **You try to swing an axe at Pyrrha Nikos**_

 _ **But blood is draining fast from your stump arm**_

 _ **She's dodging every swipe, she parries to the left**_

 _ **You counter to the right, you catch her in the neck**_

 _ **You're chopping off her head now**_

 _ **You have just decapitated Pyrrha Nikos**_

With a final one-armed swing of the prop axe, Yang knocked the paper-mache Pyrrha head off Yatsuhashi as he fell to the ground in mock-death.

 _ **Her head topples to the floor, expressionless**_

 _ **You fall to your knees and catch your breath**_

 _ **You're finally safe**_

 _ **from Pyrrha Nikos**_

This time all the lights in the room came on, signalling the true end to the show as Nora walked back to the stage. Silence is what immediately followed. Jaune looked horrified at the brutal "murder" of his partner, while the title girl remained frozen in place.

Ruby noticed this immediately, having long since spotted her friends in the crowd and grown slightly more worried about their expressions over the course of the song. "Nora," she hissed, "I thought you said Pyrrha would be fi-"

She stopped as she saw Pyrrha stand up, shaking. Jaune stood up immediately as well to try comforting her, but was as taken by surprise as everyone else once the girl started laughing uncontrollably.

This seemed to be the que everyone needed as the student behind her began to clap, then the students next to them, and soon the whole audience was applauding the show. All the performers, singers, musicians, and Nora took to the front of the stage hand-in-hand and bowed to their standing ovation. She made a quick wink at Ruby. "Told ya so."

"My, that certainly was entertaining. We might have to make performance art a regular activity here." Ozpin said, politely clapping.

"Yes, yes! I certainly agree!" Professor Oobleck said nodding. "I've always wanted to try my hand as the lead actor in a classical tragedy!"

"And I would love to test my voice that's lulled many a Grimm into submission in a musical." Professor Port agreed.

"Gods help me." was all Ms. Goodwitch could manage at the moment, feeling complete disbelief towards her co-workers.

* * *

The next day, Nora was still grinning from the excellent reaction to the performance. All the previous night she had gotten compliments on her great job, as well as that of everyone else who worked on the act.

While it was no surprise to her that Pyrrha would be fine, Ruby and Weiss still felt the need to apologize, which the spartan happily waved off. Jaune asked her to maybe take it easier next time, and looked like he'd wanted to say more, but opted against it with what a good sport his partner was being about it.

To her actual surprise and delight, everyone had even been asked for autographs of all things. People lined up to see Yatsuhashi flexing in his Pyrrha costume, admirers of all kinds swarmed Yang and Sun, some more experienced musicians paid Ruby, Blake, and the other players compliments, and Weiss, NDGO, and even CRDL received some fans praising their singing. A number of people had approached Nora with ideas for future performances, but unfortunately Professor Goodwitch put a swift end to that.

Yep, all-in-all it was a pretty great way to kill a week.

Wait a minute...only a week? That meant there was another entire week left!

"Ren, I'm boooooooooooooooored!"


End file.
